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Excellent work on your outline! See attachment for comments and feedback, but I’ll talk about a few of them here.
One thing I would suggest is a stronger hook to start off your essay. Another thing that I see you doing is telling readers what you’re going to talk about, rather than just jumping right in and talking about it. We don’t ever want to tell readers what’s next directly. Instead, we want to show them. With that being said, let’s try this for your thesis instead:
There are many inventions that had a huge impact in the world and changed the way we live, but the largest human inventions are farming, vaccinations, and the Internet.
The same issue comes in when you say: The first human invention would be farming. Okay, so again, we’re telling rather than showing, so let’s take that sentence out.
Remember, our topic sentences need make an argument about the main idea of the paragraph. Here, let’s try. The earliest, most significant human invention was farming.
Then, as an example, let’s say: Before farming, we did things like hunting large games and gathering fruit, nuts, and grain. Now give an example of how domesticating plants and animal husbandry changed all of this. Tell us why farming was a life changing invention from the way we were living before.
Okay, now paragraph 2. Your topic sentence should be The second largest human invention was the Internet because it changed so much in the modern world. This is essentially what you have now, just slightly more clear cut.
When you say: It helped connect people around the world. you can talk to your loved ones from across the world. meet new people from different cultures and different- give an example to how these things were different before the Internet.
The Impact of Invention
Many inventions have entirely altered our way of life. Farming, modern medicine, and the internet are just a few of the fantastic inventions made by men over the last few centuries. Inventions have created more efficiency in nearly all sectors of the world’s economy, from production to service provision Humans have conceived of and produced some fantastic — and often bizarre — innovations. Since someone forged rock on the ground to create the first sharp-edged tool to the introduction of the wheels to the establishment of the internet, certain significant advancements has presented as exceptionally revolutionary. Inventions by man have proven to be of great significance dating back to the early centuries due to their impacts on life at large and healthy. Several inventions, including the agricultural sector, the internet, and health sectors, have been of crucial significance in easing life and promoting social interaction and well-being.
The first humans practiced hunting and gathering, such as hunting big wild game and gathering foods like fruits, nuts, and some grains. Some ate marine life because it was a more secure method of obtaining food. Most of them were nomadic people who were constantly moving, so this worked for them. A particular documentary reveals that early humans focused on music and art because they had so much free time after they finished hunting. That is how they passed the time. Even though there is no record of when it began, archaeology had discovered that human bones before agriculture were healthier than those after agriculture. Agriculture began thousands of years apart on each continent, Africa, America, and Asia. According to an article written by NPR, The Fertile Crescent, a region in the Middle East that includes modern-day Iraq, Jordan, Syria, Israel, Palestine, southeast Turkey, and western Iran, was home to the earliest known farming communities.
Humans transitioned from nomadic to permanent settlement existence. Plants were domesticated, and the land was cultivated as a result of this revolution. This led to early farmers planting wheat, barley, and corn. Animals such as goats, lambs, chickens, ducks, and geese were also domesticated. There were also fruits and veggies included. This provided them with an advantage during the harsh winters and droughts. People found a way to preserve foods during the winter. Villages were able to form and expand because of this. People developed new methods to produce better crops, resulting in population growth. They improved Farm tools and better equipment like the ox plow so they could plant more seeds and cover more acres faster. Egyptians were the first to practice large-scale agriculture, and their irrigation systems were superior to those in other regions of the world (Chatterjee). Today, thanks to current technology, most of the farming is done by machines, making everything much easier than it used to be. This produces a large number of crops.
Modern medicine was the second invention that significantly impacted the world. Bloodletting, curative elixir, and snake boils are all diseases from the past. Ancient medicine was extremely beneficial but only worked on a few diseases. According to a BBC news piece, “Milkweed and Willow are Ancient medicines that truly work,” One is for pain relievers, and the other is for sunscreen.” Diseases such as common cold, chicken pox, polio, and many others were our number foe. This disease has affected civilization on every continent in some way. We learn how to battle these diseases once we understand what they are and what causes them. Individuals used to expose themselves to ill people to get resistance before modern medication. This usually worked on people with chickenpox. Today we have better ways to battle thanks to vaccines. Vaccines stimulate the body to produce antibodies against specific infections when one is injected with a weakened virus. These new antibodies are up to combating the infections, including viral, fungal, and bacterial infections.
Many diseases, including polio, chickenpox, measles, and TP, were eradicated because of this. We also learned and developed the technology to do organ transplants. This saved many people who wanted kidney transplants or heart transplants. Anesthesia also helped with organ transplants. Anesthesia could be a state of the controlled, temporary misfortune of sensation or mindfulness actuated for therapeutic purposes. It may incorporate a few or all of the absence of pain and loss of motion. We began to improve our hygiene. This includes keeping human waste out of the city by constructing sewage systems and keeping waste out of our food and drinking water. Many sicknesses were reduced as a result of this (Harrison et al.). Even in the most isolated places and villages, practice this method of Cleanliness. Modern medicine also helped people by being accessible to everyone; even people in remote villages have access to medicine.
Finally, there is the internet, an example of an invention that has significantly impacted the world. The web is a global network of computer systems made up of millions of computers connected by cable, fiber, or remote connections from all over the world. Prior to the internet, before people had access to the internet in their homes to help them with learning, research, employment, and entertainment, life was much more difficult (Nemenyi). Without the internet, doing all of this would have been tough. Things were incredibly slow back then; now, a challenging task may be finished in an instant due to the internet. The internet has increased rivalry among technical enterprises, resulting in a flood of new imaginative technologies. The internet made it possible to learn how to get a degree and do simple things like changing the oil in a car, watching makeup videos, and learning how to cook. People nowadays earn money using the internet. The internet has opened many new opportunities for businesses, such as using social media to promote their business and ordering things.
Long before the internet, using YouTube, Amazon, Google, and social media involved getting out of bed and leaving the house. One had to travel to the mall to buy things because there was no such thing as clicking a button. If one wanted to share knowledge with the public before the internet, they had to post it to a wall physically. A post had to be printed, transported, and hung on a bulletin board, wall, or other surfaces. People had to go to the movies, rent books from the library or bookshop, and play games at the arcade center for entertainment. People no longer need to visit a library, cinema, or gaming store; instead, they can check out and enjoy digital downloads from the comfort of their own homes (Russell ). The technology significantly impacts our lives, and we may expect even more remarkable developments in the future.
To summarize, technological advancements such as agriculture, modern medicine, and the internet have altered the globe and opened the door for future developments. We have gone a long way from the days of ox plows to the more complex machine world and modern medicine, agriculture, and AI, just a few. We are constantly looking for new ways to improve the agricultural system. Equipment that will make it easier for farmers to harvest or plant, as well as strategies to combat illnesses and drought in the farming industry. Even though modern medicine is still relatively new, it has already had an impact on the globe and will continue to do so. It is fascinating to consider what life might have been like without these innovations. In addition,
Chatterjee, Rhitu. “Where Did Agriculture Begin? Oh Boy, It’s Complicated”. Npr.Org, 2022, https://www.npr.org/sections/thesalt/2016/07/15/485722228/
Pitt, Chris. “Five Old Remedies That Are Still Healing Us Today .”BBC News, 10/27/2015, https://www.bbc.com/news/health-34616695.
Shryock, Richard Harrison. “The development of modern medicine.” The Development of Modern Medicine. University of Pennsylvania Press, 2017.
Russell, Andrew L. “Histories of Networking vs. the History of the Internet.” SIGCIS Workshop. Vol. 7. 2012.
Nemenyi, Daniel. What is the internet? Norbert Wiener and the society of control. Diss. Kingston University, 2019.